[Niven Spence a.k.a  N@ikd Lyric found his love for words and artistic expression as far as 10 years ago when he started performing at a anti drug campaign as a rapper. He also was the voice behind a current affairs talk show on Kingfisher Fm but his artistic expression has since evolved and he writes heartfelt poetry from his life experiences and observations. Some of his work includes poems like…”Waar is dai stilte””, To do list”, and “a quarter to two”. Niven’s poetry aims to provoke thoughts that challenges prejudice and pre conceived dispositions. He writes because of his love for words and hopes that his work stirs not only emotions, but also the higher level of holistic perception within every person who hears his work. Niven skryf ook short stories….so kykie….enjoy it!  En vertel ons of djy dit like of nie, jinne, comment bietjie!Ed.]

Part 1

(Sound from Wange’s phone set as his alarm) – “ Ooh I think she likes me but ima tell her nicely … baba jy is oulik…. As Wange’s phone rings at 10:00 am (coz his a Mexican).

Ahhh Wange exclaimed as he stretched out across the bottom bunk of the bunk beds in his room. Letting one rip as he does so, he hears the moans from his little brother Gras who he shares the bunk with….Jasie my bru!! Gras squealed…wat eet jy? Kool bompies? Hey Voetsek screamed Wange…annoyed at Gras’s protest, covering his head with the floral duvet his mother bought at Ackermans on her account. Just as this happens…Wange realizes that his phone is vibrating under the pillow and quickly grabs it to see who the sms was from. “please call get me on mxit” the letters on his pimpd out Samsung d900 read.

Wange immediately knew that this was Astonvilita, a girl he met in the Pe chatroom on mxit, who lives in Humansdorp. After his third attempt to log on he became seriously annoyed and checked his airtime balance realizing it was gong.”ekse gras chise me your phone gazi,don’t come swak!” he desperately pleaded with his little brother. “Nah,minute dawg you stay ask a man then you use the hole half tiger in his kus! Plus hat kinds a grak my bru! Hahahah man kop met a vrou gedagte en enige girls.” Gras replied.Furiously Wange exclaimed “ahoy,haai pap bek kind men haar vuil voete en krom tone van jou…nou ja moenie kom speel nie! Ekse los die goete man,gee net die phone” Reluctantly Gras handed over his Motorolla v360 with a batman cover which he fitted at the Pakistani shop next to la-fiesta.

After downloading his mxit version 3.0 on his little brothers Motorolla, (because it could not receive V6.0) he logged on, and low and behold there was Astonvillita with the nick name “Von glamorous” on his mxit, and her mood was set to hot and her presence on busy. He immediately thought to himself “ Hus kint got lyn my bru”. 

And this was the advent of the following mxit conversation…

Top dawk pimp – aweh baba
Von glamorous: hey (smile)
Top dawk pimp: wat u wys
Von glamorous: n.m n u?
Top dawk pimp – lib just woke up
Von glamorous: k, u gona cum thru 2day?
Top dawk pimp: I dunno wantd 2 wash my purcells today and put mielie meel on it
Von glamorous: (sad face)
Von glamorous is now sad
Top dawk pimp: wat kain now?
Von glamorous: nutn (sad face)
Top dawk pimp: look at u now, don’t come wit hat nutn boue here…wat kain?
Von glamorous: uh ah I just thort u cud cum ova and bring Slang with u, coz Oumyt them coming to my joint later.
Top dawk pimp: (smile) aweh! Upstand da girls…im gona borrow Slangs Ollas from him and steek uit!
Von glamorous:  (smile)
Von glamorous is now inlove
Top dawk pimp: u know mos its how I come out en enige kombers.
Top dawk pimp is now hot
Von glamorous: ok spot you laterz neh
Top dawk pimp: duidlik da girl
Von glamorous is now offline
Von glamorous is now online
Von glamorous : DC…hus phone soma make k@k man
Top dawk pimp: ok laters hus bra want his phone, g2g
Top dawk pimp is now offline.
Von glamorous is now offline.
Wange hands back his brothers phone “de,vat jou blind phone. Jy gaan nes a ou myt aan!” “ Ja en moet maar nie die myt se phone weer vra nie ok” gras replies sarcasticly

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By die Mid-Ennerdale Primary School on 30 Jan 2010 - We launch... Ennerdale's Community Website, KEE, Latest Kullid T-Shirts with Fun for Kids, Entertainment, Beer Garden, Open Mike for upcoming Talent, Hip-Hop, DJs, Poetry, Car with best sound/mags/dressed couple!! - Come join the fun and help your community develop!  Wanna be involved? - Whietie met Mr Sir 082 531 5241

Ek bly tans in die strand, die mooie - mooie strand. So dit is my stand. En ek wil vir die Koning wees aan die brand.]

 

Ek Is

Ek is ‘n coloured, ja gemeng en al
Ek is bly almal dink ons is mal
Want wat hulle weet nie is dit
Coloured het nog van die land geen genut

Ek is swart, ja en Ek is wit
Ja, ek is bruin en ek is it
Die land wat ek call Suid Afrika
Sy is myne ook. En ek weier om weer te hoor “kaba kaba kaba’.

My ouers is ingevoer met die wyn
Hulle het dit gesuip soos asyn
Maar wees heeltemal versekerd
Ek veg hard trug verbeterd

Education, is the main game
Our children won’t be ashame
As ek leer en swat tot ek dood
Gaan my voorsate die politiek voort

Ek is ‘n coloured, maar so noem JY my nie
Want ek is nie gebore uit jou nie
Ek is vol van myself, en nie net myself
Want die goeie herder het diep in my siel gedelf

Ek voel so trots in ons land Afrique De Sud
Niemand sal my hier wegkry, want hier skiet ek root
Ja ek is so koel soos

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MOET NEVVA EVVA WEE vir my kom tune ek kannie ENGLISH praat of skryfie. Hie is my hele laaste taxi wat jy al in gery het of nog in sal ry... En onthou, ek drink nie pienk drinks nie... I'm looking you!!

 

Daar is baie ouens in history wat ‘n moerse impression op my maak. Ouens soos Hitler – one man maak hy war teen almal. Ek sal like om sy brain te analyse – veral toe dinge bad begin gaan met sy hele war strategy. Wat de fok het hy gedink?

Dan is daar Mahatma Ghandi. Groot respect vir hom. Ek dink net hy was by tye te sag en te nice. Hy moesie altyd so nice gewees hettie. Is daar nie so iets van ‘n tyd om nice te wees en ‘n tyd om kakkerig te wees nie, huh?

Shaka is nog ‘n case in point. Imagine jy maak honderde dood net omdat jou ma dood is. Sy brein soek ek ook. En by the way, het hy nie concubines gehad nie? Jislaaik, was dit ek, dan het ek mos lekke aangegaan…! Met al die mooi Kullid meddies, wie sou my kon keer as die Kullid King! Okay, laat ons nie gedagtes kry nie…

Verwoerd was die stupid-ste donner wat daar nog kon gewees het. Hy en sy mense het dan so heavy in die Bybel geglo. Hoekom het hy nie die Salomo move ge-try nie. Trou sommer met ‘n Sotho lady, vat ‘n Zoeloe princess as nog ‘n vrou, vat ‘n jong Tswana dame en nie lank nie of almal is ge-pacify. Soos ek gese het, jislaaik, was dit ekke… sou somme die Xhosas en die Indians en die Chinese en die Porras in daai equation ingesluit het. Die maths sou mooi uitgewerk het. Faktor van Vereniging en Vrede – die FVV, met ‘n Boere nooi aan my sy. Freedom Front se moer!
(Lyk my ou Zuma try nou so 'n Salomo move, maar wag tot hy 'n Kullid meddie try trou... hy gat spyt wees, daai meddies vattie masjien nie, sal hom somme 9nine innie parlement gaan vloek as hy nie op tyd die papgeld betaal nie!)

Okay, maar hiesie saak. Toe word daar ‘n film oor die groot Romeinse keiser “Alexander” mos oor tv ge-broadcast. Toe dink ek: Dankie Lord, dankie ek was nie hy nie!

Why?

 1. Alexander het nie sy vision beplan nie. Jy kannie ‘n vision het sonder planning nie. Even jou ma het nie sonder planning gekook nie, al het sy nie recipes gelees nie. Sy’t in haar mind alles ge-plan. Gaan vra haar maar. Planning is ‘n V I T A L ingredient in die uitvoering van ‘n mens se vision. Voorbeeld: As jy binne 7 years ‘n dokter wil word, moet jy plan om nie gedurende daai tyd pregnant te raak nie. Daais somme 2 years wat dit jou plan in sy moer kan gooi. Alexander het nie ‘n plan gehad vir al sy conquests en sy vision nie. Hy’t voortgeploeter van die een party na die ander, dronk in sy grandness…! Nope, ek willie daai issie. Man moet mos bietjie in soberness dinge in retrospect neem as jy so by drie parties gewees het… begin stock take en vra waar is die kinders, issie bills betaal, is die meddie nog okay, is daar groceries gekoop. Nie aan bly donner sonder gedagte of sonder stock taking nie. Imagine, elke weekend dik dronk, uitslaap…! Nee fok, sorry, so wil ekkie weesie, dankie.

2. Toe conquer Alexander die hele Persia en hy is die domste ou. Hy wil net verder en verder en verder. Niks consolidation nie. Niks van fondamente grawe nie. Soos ‘n couple wat nou ‘n bond vannie bank gekry het dan vra hulle somme vir ‘n extra loan vir furniture, vat nog ‘n loan vir ‘n kar en die bank gee hulle dit. As hulle by die bank uitstap met alle daardie loans, gaan die donners na

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Lank gelede was da daai phones wat jy op wind en daai gooi jy die meddie aanie annerkant djou nommer, nou is daar cell phones en internet...

Lank gelede was daar net bicycles om mee span toe te kon gaan en perdekarre, nou is daar treine en taxis en jou eie kar...

Lank gelede kon jou oupa of tannie maar met standerd 6 of 8 of matric 'n kwaai span kry en lekke geld verdien, nou is daar Affirmative Action...!

Paar jaar gelede het die Lannies jou as Kullid met matric nog soms meer prefer as 'n Darkie met 'n university degree, nou issit andersom...!!

Matric is nie 'n meal ticket na enigiets toe nie, sorry!
'n Qualification - certificate of degree - tel nou BAIE meer!!!

So, as jou tannie of oom of chommies of jyself dink jy't arrive met matric, SORRY!! Dinge het ge-change...!! Skrik wakker!! Jy het maar net by die stasie aangekom. Jy moet 'n behoorlike ticket kry om die train te kan ry...!! Matric gaan jou nie meer baie ver kan vattie!!

As jy ge-fail het, sorry, jy't nie ge-fail nie, want dit wassie 'n degree eksamen nie - dit was net 'n test, gaan skryf dit oor en kry dit en gaan haal dit wat NOU tel.

Moenie jouself verbeel nie. Matriek is irrelevant vir jou success. Is wat jy NA matric gaan kry wat sal tel.

Vra jou ma en pa of jou baas - as hulle eerlik is sal hulle jou die waarheid vertel...

Dinge het ge-change, of sien jy dit dannie self ookie...?

Moenie laat slaapie, moenie kak glo nie, moenie baiza nie!

Aweh!

[Taken from the Poem "Kullid in Technicolor", courtesy of Ronald S Dyers, we present you a brief national panoramic view of who and where we are. Ed.]

I tell you today, if no one else is this today, I am a Coloured!

This is who I am – from Bonteheuwel to Springbok, van Buysdorp, deur Westernburg tot die laaste fisher town. From Eldos to Mitchells Plain, to the leveled plains of the Free State, tot waar die Heidedal. From Wentworth tot die Baai. Ek staan in die Poort van Eersterust, loop soos ‘n profeet in Nasaret en where ever I lay my head, that’s my Homestead. Ek is rusteloos in Rusteval, ek maak vuur in Houtbaai en soek my Toekomsrus all over die show. Ek’s beautiful in Beaufort-Wes se rustige Rustdene. Ek stel my saak in Stellenbosch, tot die klerke in Klerksdorp hoor offie Alabama kom offie. Kry my in Keimoes, sien my in Roodepan, meet my in Danville, orals park ek. Ek’s in Grassy Park, Reiger Park, Florian Park, Eden Park en ek brag in Brentpark. Tune jou, ek’s sommer die hele Woodlands vol. Die Kaapse Son slat my, maar hier sal en gaan ek wees soos ek wel wil wees in Bellville en Bronville, in Shauderville en in Nelsville. Ek bly hier soos ek bly in Blydeville. Ek is wat ek is, regdeur Mzansi.

For sho! I am a Kullid!